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About the Best Man
The best man is generally a very close friend or brother closest to the groom. He assists the groom in selecting formalwear and if a couple’s shower is given joins the maid of honor in planning and hosting the party. He is the general organizer of the groomsmen coordinating their formal wear fittings, heading up the bachelor party, and seeing that they are ready to perform their functions at the ceremony and reception. He may also coordinate transportation of the bridal party and guide groomsmen in the tasteful decoration of the couple’s honeymoon vehicle.
His main responsibility, however, is to the groom. In addition to important emotional support he helps the groom to dress for the wedding and sees that the groom is at the ceremony on time. He keeps the bride’s wedding ring until needed in the ceremony, gets fees to the officiant following the ceremony and signs the marriage certificate as a legal witness. The best man is seated in a place of honor at the reception, typically offers the first toast and often serves as master of ceremonies. He also dances with the bride and the maid of honor at the reception after which he sees that the couple’s luggage gets safely into the honeymoon vehicle and gathers and returns the groom’s formal wear to the rental agency or cleaners.
Below are some traditional duties of the Best Man. Be sure to defer to your groom, for direction.
Before the Wedding:
• Attends engagement party.
• Hosts bachelor party with the assistance of other groomsmen.
• Co-hosts bridal shower (if couples type) with the maid of honor.
• May join groom in selection of formalwear.
• Helps coordinate groomsmen for their formalwear fittings.
• Attends fittings and rents his own wedding attire and accessories.
• Assists groom when needed with wedding and honeymoon.
• Attends ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
Ceremony:
• May coordinate wedding party time and transport details.
• Gets groom to ceremony on time.
• Oversees and coordinates groomsmen and ushers in their duties.
• Keeps the bride’s ring safe until needed in the ceremony.
• Attends to the groom’s health and emotional well being.
• Provides the ring to the officiant at the appointed time.
• Gives officiant envelopes containing site and officiant fees.
• Signs marriage certificate as legal witness.
Reception:
• May stand in the receiving line.
• May sit next to the bride or groom at the head table.
• Dances with maid of honor during wedding party dance.
• Offers a toast to the couple.
• Sees that the couple’s honeymoon vehicle is loaded with their luggage.
• Sees that the groom has travel documents.
• Returns groom’s formalwear and accessories.
• Oversees groomsmen in any final duties.
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Helpful Links
In some groups, it is traditional to decorate the 'get away" vehicle with a "Just Married" sign.
Most Limousine companies and car rental companies forbid this, but should the couple be using a personal vehicle and you want to decorate, be sure not to ruin paint by using masking, packaging, or worst of all duct tape!
Here is a link to automotive tape that is safe for vehicle paint, if used according to directions.
Be sure to order early.
About the Groomsmen
Groomsmen and ushers may provide assistance with pre-wedding festivities and wedding day tasks but other than attending fittings and paying for their own formal wear their most important jobs are on the wedding day itself.
The groomsmen must attend the wedding rehearsal and arrive early to the ceremony to begin seating guests. They will also escort guests of honor to their seats just before the ceremony. They will unroll the aisle carpet if used. Ushers may also be asked to distribute programs to the guests and see that any gifts brought to the ceremony are transferred safely to the appropriate location.
Groomsmen typically escort bridesmaids in the processional and recessional and dance with their partners at the reception. Groomsmen may purchase a gift for the couple either individually or as a group and often decorate the vehicle in which the bride and groom will leave the ceremony.
Below are some traditional duties of the Groomsmen. Be sure to defer to your groom, for direction.
Before the Wedding:
• Attend engagement party.
• Co-host bachelor party with the best man.
• Attend couple’s shower if given.
• Attend fittings and rent their wedding attire and accessories.
• Assist groom when needed with wedding preparations.
• Attend ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
Ceremony:
• Follow timelines closely.
• Arrive at ceremony site early to begin ushering duties.
• Be prepared to direct guests to restroom facilities and reception site.
• Be familiar with the ceremony seating chart and guests to be seated in front pews.
• Attend to elderly or other guests with special needs.
• Offer female guests your right arm, lead male guests to their seats.
• Just before ceremony seat the mother of the groom, then the mother of the bride, as indicated at the rehearsal.
• Unroll the aisle runner, if used.
• Escort bridesmaids in ceremony as rehearsed.
• Perform duties as requested by the bride and groom.
Reception::
• May sit next to their bridesmaid escort at the head table.
• Dance with their bridesmaid escort during wedding party
• Participate in reception activities.
• Assist groom with any assigned wedding tasks.
• May carefully decorate honeymoon vehicle.
• Return their formalwear to rental shop.
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Transportation Worksheet
Download a Transportation Worksheet to help get everyone to the ceremony on time.
Being the Emcee
If you are the "Class Clown", or a close family member - or if the Best Man is a very quiet guy, or "incapacitated" - (if you get the just), you may be honored, or forced into service, to be the wedding reception's Emcee.
It's always safe to be prepared, and you may have an opportunity to speak even if the Best Man is on his game as well.
For some tips and an outline, see our Best Man Toasting Ideas, article.
Writing a Best Man Toast
The entire experience of being the Best Man (or even a Groomsman or Usher for that matter) is exciting and fun. The honor of being selected, the comeraderie, the cool clothes, the parties, (the bridesmaids!!)...the Best Man Toast, not so much....
This bit of tradition, which typically kicks off the reception, leaves some guys shaking in their boots (or patent leather shoes, whatever the case may be). We've got some tips to walk you through the process of creating and delivering your Best Man Toast, plus some major "things to avoid", so you end up looking like the "man of the hour" and not the joke of the night!!
If you want to step away from the ordinary, or just are "brain dead" when it comes to a bachelor event idea, check out some of our Bachelor Party Ideas here. Hint: - If there will be drinking or a late night involved, don't chance ruining your groom's enjoyment and memory of the wedding by having your event the night before!
About the Ring Bearer
A lighthearted addition to any wedding is a sweet little flower girl accompanied by a handsomely suited little ring bearer or page. Though these youngsters, ranging in age from three to eight years old are incredibly adorable they are often equally unpredictable. It is important that the parents of the children and the children themselves are aware of your expectations and schedules.
Should it seem unlikely that the children can remain standing still with the bridal party they may be seated with their parents during the ceremony. All children are typically seated with their parents at the reception.
Below are some traditional duties of the Ring Bearer. Be sure to defer to your bride, for direction.
Before the Wedding:
• Attend bridal shower with their parent
• Attend fittings and purchase (with parents) their own wedding attire.
• Attend ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner
Ceremony:
• Follow timelines closely
• Walk in wedding processional and recessional as requested by bride
• Get ring just before the processional
• May sit with their parents during ceremony
Reception:
• Sit with their parents during reception
• May dance with their escort during wedding party dance
• Participate in reception activities
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